Mine's longer! What would NPH do?
by Homicidal Ovary
Summary: When you're young and gay, the possibilities are endless! Patrick teaches SpongeBob a "lesson" about being too prideful when it comes to *cough* certain things... *cough cough*


**Intro:**

**Tampon Masturbation has requested I write her a Pat/Sponge drabble. Hmm… what to write that will please a gay hentai-ish mind?**

**I look at my SpongeBob curtains, to my Harold and Kumar poster on the ceiling. Neil Patrick Harris on a unicorn. SpongeBob and Patrick sticking their tongues out, with floating text that says "Mine's longer." Nicely perverted Mr. Hillenburg.**

**???Hmm???**

**What would NPH do?**

**Mine's longer!**

**What would NPH do?**

**Mine's longer!**

**What would NPH do?**

**Mine's longer!**

**What would NPH do?**

**Mine's longer!**

***Gasp!* I've got it!!!!!**

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

SpongeBob eased down into his comfy chair after a hot bath. He then parted his bath robe and began to examine his dick. The heat extended it a little, and it was just nice to sit back and relax, and admire the greatness that was his external reproductive organ.

It really wasn't fair.

He had the biggest boinker in the world, and he was gay. It just wasn't fair to all those heterosexual barnacleheads.

SpongeBob hummed his favorite Jefferee Star song as he stroked his "cock of greatness". Gary rolled his eyes and slithered away. He knew how conceited SpongeBob got when it came to his penis, and today, Gary thought he ought to learn a lesson.

He slithered to Patrick's rock.

Gary had to convince Patrick to help him.

*yawn* Coffee break time.

A brisk walk and a cup of hot chocolate later…

After Gary gave Patrick a "personal" favor, (xD), they set out to the pineapple.

Patrick pushed open the door.

"SpongeBob SquarePants!"

SpongeBob jerked up out of his chair in shock.

"Patrick, what a lovely surprise!" SpongeBob grinned cheesefully.

"Don't give me that jizz-drinking smile of yours! I'll show you whose the real cock-master!"

And with that said, Patrick unzipped his shorts and-

Whipped out a dick that was bigger than SpongeBob's! OMG!

"I'm gonna teach you a little something about pride!" Patrick sneered.

Gary sat in the corner with a bowl of popcorn and watched as Patrick rubbed Vaseline over his erect sweaty dingle-hopper.

Then Patrick leaped on SpongeBob.

He landed on him, penis entering vulnerable spore. SpongeBob screamed because of the painful pleasure he received. Patrick's dick went through one hole and out the other. He eventually rocked his pelvis back and forth, creating a sensual feel, also making the sponge a little seasick.

But they both liked it. They would then call it "fuck-flossing".

Patrick never knew he could have so much fun raping someone. SpongeBob never knew he liked unwilling sex!

He would totally have to write it on his turn-on list.

Anyway, Patrick decided to move onto the next hole, which caused more screaming, bleeding, moaning, orgasms, etc.

Then onto the next hole…

People, SpongeBob has, like, thirty-something holes, okay? We have a lot of fuck-flossing going on here.

But the holes around SpongeBob's head were the tightest… you guessed it.

Screaming, bleeding, moaning, orgasms, etc.

"I guess this gives a new meaning to 'fucking my brains out'" SpongeBob panted, as Patrick thrusted and swayed.

By now, Gary's eyes had sunk back in their sockets. Regurgitated popcorn had diffused all around him.

Patrick pulled out of the last hole, and leaned back. SpongeBob was now red, sore, and chapped.

But he felt great.

"Boy Pat, you sure did learn me a lesson" said SpongeBob.

"You had it coming schoolboy" Patrick smiled.

"What should we do now?" asked SpongeBob.

Patrick rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Hmm… want to go ride a unicorn?"

SpongeBob jumped up. "Yeah!"

And so, Patrick and SpongeBob jumped on a random unicorn, and rode off into the sunset.

They didn't know though, it was just Squidward in a unicorn costume, only dressed up so he could feel Patrick's and SpongeBob's balls massaging his back as he galloped.

They ran into a Charter bus… and died.

In the after life, SpongeBob and Patrick were sent to Hell for being faggot-ish. But the flames in Hell made them so hot and horny, they got in on all the time. They 69n'd in front of Hitler and made him cry. Satan was so ashamed of them, he sent them to Heaven. Then Jesus sent them to "short bus" Heaven.

And Squidward was sent to the Island of Misfit Toys.


End file.
